Life brings change over the course of many seasons. Some of it is expected, some unplanned or unexpected. It can be joyful, painful, scary, even breathtaking. Weddings, births, starting a dream job, retirement or traveling to a dream destination may bring feelings of joy and anticipation. Illness, death, job loss, the ending of a relationship or divorce can cause sadness and loss. You may even experience conflicting feelings, joy and loss, grief and relief, or excitement and fear.
How do changes in life affect me?
Change often brings anxiety, fear and uncertainty. You may feel tension in your body, have poor sleep, ruminate about choices and decisions, and question what the change will bring to your life. You may find yourself more short-tempered, less tolerant of small frustrations, more overwhelmed by new situations, or less able to identify and communicate your needs to others. You may worry about how it will impact your identity, your relationships, your job, and your future. It can be difficult to sit with the uncertainty of what change brings, even when you look forward to a change.
Sometimes, life changes can even feel paralyzing. You may feel “stuck”, unable to move forward with the change, as you struggle to adapt. You may also be unable to make decisions related to the change, as feelings and decisions overwhelm you. There may seem like there is no way out from under the change.
How do I know therapy might support me through life changes?
Life changes happen quickly and slowly. You may be close to retirement and anticipate the shift from a career and work to having to fill time and redefine your identity. It may be on the horizon and you have planned all the practical matters, but struggle with the more emotional and personal pieces.
Conversely, you may become an unexpected caretaker for a sick loved one. You are caught in the immediate need of making arrangements for care, meeting with doctors, working with insurance to cover costs, and meeting your loved one’s needs. Beneath it all, there is an emotional storm brewing, including caretaker fatigue, abrupt shifts in living arrangements or daily routine, balancing your own needs with those of your loved one, and trying to manage your own feelings.
In the midst of both quick and slow changes, some of the questions you may ask yourself include:
- How can I process grief and loss?
- How can I reduce the anxiety and tension I feel in my body?
- I feel guilty about some of my feelings. How do I process and accept that I can have feelings which conflict?
- What growth do I hope for with this change?
- What expectations do I have for myself and others when life changes?
- What expectations do I need to let go of during this change?
- How do I adapt to change when it is unexpected?
- What do I need to nurture in order to adapt to a change in my life?
How can therapy help me through life changes?
Therapy offers a safe, non-judgmental space in which to explore the uncertainty that change can bring. It allows you to process any and all feelings which may arise with the change, without judgment or shame. It holds space for you to question, to explore and to accept the changes in your life. Therapy also shows you how to ride the wave of emotions that come with life changes, from fear to acceptance, from despair to hope, from sadness to joy, and from anger to grace and kindness. If you have had a recent change in your life, or expect a change, and feel overwhelmed or stressed, Outside the Lines Counseling, LLC is here to help you as you weather any change in your life.